Brooks reviewed CTDV last week. and to say he liked it may have been a bit of an understatement. Needless to say, we found a few flaws with it — we always do — it’s our job. Released today on the ApathyWorks blog is a list of anticipated changes in the upcoming patch to v1.1. In reality these patch notes are probably all fake, and Alex Jordan should learn from this. You never start right off with fake shit, you got to ease into it, give them something legit sounding, and then give their marbles a quick 180. As for me I just thought it was a good excuse to link our review again.
Here are the list of changes that users can expect in CTDV version 1.1:
- Increased wampas by 75%
- Martyrdom perk now drops 10 grenades simultaneously and is mandatory on all Critters
- Lowered the rate of fire on the MP5K submachine gun
- Added more pink
- Added capability for playing with a 3rd and 4th player in local multiplayer
- Removed capability for playing with a 3rd and 4th player in local multiplayer, because of spite.
- Increased Critter volume by 1000% and speaking rate by 500%
- Increased Critter voice pitch by 200%
- Added new quests to Westfall
- Fixed bug where Xbox DVD tray would eject disks directly into your scrotum at high velocity
- Fixed the “Jesus infinite respawn” glitch
- Fixed all misspellings of the word “vagina”
- Fixed bug wherein software would become self-aware and try to join Skynet
- Added approximately 2.3% more fun